By Jason Michael

Brexit: Imagine yourself of a boat on a river, with tangerine trees and marmalade skies. Yeah, this trippy psychedelic vision of pure drugged-up bliss is about all that stands between us and the shock of hitting rock bottom after our post-Brexit OD.

Well we might not be any wiser than the British government is about what Brexit will mean for the United Kingdom and for Scotland, but at least we know when it will be triggered. On 29 March Theresa May will set things in motion for formal negotiations to begin with the European Union to prepare the way for Britain to leave Europe. It’s all a wee bit too much like getting the first ride on the rollercoaster Groundskeeper Willie built – it might work. Then again it might not, and the real cost of it all going south is just too bloody frightening to imagine.

To begin with, the people who brought us to this point – the Brexiteers – did so by peddling a whole pack of lies to the electorate. This doesn’t inspire much confidence in their ability to deliver on this global TeamGB brand they have promised. They smirked when we asked them about the £350m a week they promised from the side of a bus they would bring home from the EU and invest in the NHS. That was only an “election promise,” they said. When we asked the Prime Minister – a woman who only got the job because no one else wanted it – what Brexit meant her answer was terrifying: “Brexit means Brexit!” What about the banks and financial firms now leaving the country, or the €60 billion we now owe the EU in fees, or the trade tariffs David Davis has admitted will be anywhere as high as 40 percent? What about the EU migrants we need for our own economy or the British citizens scattered all over Europe?

Now it’s more like doing the test run on the rollercoaster Barney Gumble built. “Too many unanswered questions” doesn’t even begin to describe the mess we are in right now. Sure we can hope that Europe will be lenient, as maybe it will try to be, but Brussels also has to send a firm message to its other member state – it won’t be an easy ride for anyone who threatens the stability of the union that has secured Europe’s peace and prosperity for half a century and more. No, Britain is going to get a spanking. Now maybe there are some British establishment types who quite enjoy the odd spanking, but the unavoidable reality is that this skelping will hurt the poorest and most devastated communities and industrial sectors the most.

Even now Theresa May hasn’t a clue of what to expect, and plenty of sources within the civil service have said that they are already preparing for the UK walking out of the talks without a deal. This gormless Prime Minister wants us in Scotland to stall the digger and wait to see what kind of deal we will get before we run off and have another independence referendum. Aye right, let’s do that! Let’s jump on the ride, buckle up, close our eyes, and hope there’s a God. Naw! On second thoughts let’s not, because when this whole shit show goes arsewise – as it bloody well will – Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland, and the north of England will be squeezed dry – as usual – to stop London feeling the pinch. Here’s the deal: We wait just long enough to see how bad it’s going to be and we jump.


David Davis revealing UKGov Brexit chaos and ineptitude

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