In the red corner: A bloated old misogynist has-been. In the blue corner: Another bloated old one, but she’s a serial killer. The odds are even, and whatever happens in the end we’d better all have our tin hats on our heads.

It was an absolute waste of time for you if you turned on last night’s Clinton and Trump debate hoping for some reasoned discussion on the real issues facing America. On the other hand, if you were looking for a white collar bare-knuckle slogging match then we were in for a treat. What we were given was a despicable indictment of modern US politics – two elderly, bitter auld arses taking domestic and global statesmanship down into the deepest, darkest recesses of the United States’ presidency’s sewerage pipes. It was highly entertaining all the same.


Forget the razzle-dazzle of the town hall format. That never really took off. A couple of well-selected fuds asked a few pointed, sometimes loaded, questions that – on each occasion – amounted to no more than the starting bell for the next round. Never mind that with Hillary winning her husband Bill – also known as “sex between two Bush’s” – will get his sorry ass back into his former knocking shop – also known as “the White House,” all the attention was on the Donald’s sleazy capers on a bus eleven years ago. Aye, right enough, an ageing dirt-bag who thinks he can grab any woman he pleases by the vagina because he’s “a Star” probably isn’t the best candidate for POTUS.

It’s beyond the abilities of any bog-standard polemicist or blogger such as myself to adequately describe the true horror that is Donald Trump, but in fairness to the man he hasn’t been busy for the past eight years launching hell-fire rockets from unmanned – Israeli made – drones at Syrian, Iraqi, Libyan, and Afghan villagers. That was the other nightmare candidate Hillary Clinton. At a conservative estimate she has marketed up a million innocent civilians in the Middle East, paid a British PR company to make fake Al-Qaeda beheading videos to keep the recruits and the funding coming, and still seems confused as to why the threat from militant extremism has only grown under her version of the War on Terror.


Either way – whoever is elected in November – the US is f*cked. That wouldn’t necessarily be a problem for the civilised world (that’s pretty much everywhere but the US right now) if the mess was contained within Washington and Los Angeles and the vast swathes of under-educated, over-opinionated, over-weight, dumbfuckary that lies between them, but it’s not. This is a toxic spill of global proportions, and it’s about to whack us all the minute President Trump gets his finger on the button or President Clinton II oversteps the mark with Russia. I don’t know about you, but this isn’t really the time for comment. We should all be digging fallout shelters.


Time of my Life Trump and Hillary


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