Now that it has been proven beyond all doubt that a human being can live a full ninety years, her radgesty’s most froyal Scottish subjects threw the street party to end all street parties. The #ScottishStreetParty redefined ‘Hoachin.’

In honour of Mrs Saxe-Coburg and Gotha’s second ninetieth birthday this year the grovelling peasants of Scotlandshire were encouraged to have a wash and follow the lead of their neighbours and throw a massive nationwide street party. Owing to the rigorous streamlining of everything up here by our masters in Westminster, few of us Jocks have ever seen a 90 year old woman. So naturally we were eager to get the party going. It seems heating in winter wasn’t the way to a long and happy life after all, it was the insertion of a silver spoon. Here are some of the highlights from Scotland’s celebrations.

So there you have it – a day to remember. For some, we fear, the action was too much and not too much will be remembered of the day’s events. Who said we can’t have a good time in Scotland, especially when it comes to marking her maj’s big day? We’ll round off our day of celebrations in the traditional way, with a word from Rikki. Good night.

Bonnie Prince Charlie

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